R.I.P. innocence

I was only a child. Everything was good, all my friends was my friends, no backstabbing, no depressive winters. It was only us and a football in the summers, a sled in the winters. But it’s different now. Friends come in different shades, those you know, but don’t really speak to, those you stop up in the streets and talk to, and those you’re almost dependent on. I don’t kick around on a football anymore, I’ll rather chill on the porch. Winters aren’t the symbol of cleansing the nature and giving the children something to play with anymore, it have become the wet season of the year, the season of the year you have to wear 3-4 coats of clothing.

Time have indeed changed. And along with time, the most sadly thing that changed, is the girls. What happened with the sweet innocent girls? The girls that picked flowers in the giant field behind the soccer field have become unrecognizable. Dressing up in short skirts, hiding behind makeup and drinking alcohol like the soda pops they use to drink. I’m kinda sad. Where have all the good girls gone? I would give everything I own just to meet a girl with her innocence intact. An intellectual girl that drink to celebrate, not to get drunk, a girl that’s not perfect in every way. I love flaws, it’s what makes that person that person. Plastic surgeons are the flaw-killers. I hate them all.

I really wish I was 8 years old again. And all the girls had a smile that could warm your heart in a cold winter night. And the innocence would put Mickey Mouse to shame.

I hate the times we’re in, sex is selling, and we’re buying. I’ll survive, but I don’t like it.

The last gesture

Me and my friend were hicking
At the pace of our liking
Then suddenly a man appeared
His hands were shacking, his face scared.
We gave him water and bread
“My guardians” he said.

“A life is great
If you care for it
Or filled with hate
If you leave it.”

The man disappeared
With the chimes of a divine song
I discovered what I feared
My friend was gone
And I was filled with hatred.

We'll meet again...

I hate goodbyes, there’s nothing like it. The sick, depressing feeling you’ve got inside you, you know it will come, that last moment seeing the people you care about. Today, I finished my last year at high school. After 12 long years, I’m finally done, no more school!

I want to thank my class at Bjerke VGS, Oslo for a good year. It’s been fun, and I hope to see (some of you) again. I’ll most certain remember the laughs and the fun we had. And I really wish the best luck to you all.

It’s sad to say goodbye to this class. However, I must say that nothing was as sad saying goodbye to the GK MekA and VK1 Kjøretøy class at Etterstad VGS. I loved this group more then anything, we didn’t go one day without laughing our asses off. We were united. We were not one group. We were THE group. I wish I could have at least one more year with you guys.

Stuff I will remember from VK1 Kjøretøy:

• Daniel spinning around in his Miata :P
• A certain person throwing a wrench in the ground *boing* into Mortens car
• All the moments in the “corner” with sørlands-chips” pretending to do stuff
• The water machine
• Leif yelling at that certain person
• All the fun we had locking Daniel in the locker room
• Trond setting fire on his own car, while Einar was on the phone.
• The almost-death of Mikkel, Stu and Kenneth, while Daniel panicked.
• That God damn naked chick calendar Daniel brought that he blamed on me…

Jesus guys, we had A LOT of fun… We’ll meet later bitches.

Love is like...

Don’t even try. A curse, hex is all that is. Love is for suckers, but it seems like we all like to be suckers. Hell, I don’t mind. But how the hell can it go so far? That nothing else in your life matters; it’s just ying and yang. Alfa and Beta. If you’re looking for some laughs, stop here.

What is love? No, really… What is love? It’s certainly not a box of canned beef, definitely not a brown sweater. Love it simplified; a feeling. A crave. You need it to survive on this planet. Without love, you’re not alive. Without love, you’re dead. But with love comes big responsibilities. You have to at all time do the most horrifying thing. You have to love somebody back. How scary is that? Shit, I’d rather sit on a burning floor, watching Oprah then be in love. I just don’t think I can handle it, how the hell is I supposed to be the Alfa for this person?

But… how can I resist? It’s not like it’s cigarettes or candy. I can’t just slap on a patch and everything’s alright. Yes, I’m a sucker. Damn hell. I don’t want to be one, but I can’t resist. This woman, this yang, this beta. I’ve never been like this. Everything I do is related to this person in some way. Oh my God, I swear I see an angel every time I see her. I don’t tell her because I don’t want to be like this. All I want is just to sit by the lake fishing, gathering my thoughts, listen to some Clapton. This person makes me want to be a better man.

Love is like… I don’t know... Somebody says it’s like drugs. But you can’t buy love, it’s certainly no crisis centre for it. But you will how ever kill for it, pawn everything you own for it, and no matter how long you say you’ve been free for it, you’ll just get sucked back in.

Love is mystical, It can’t be described. If you look up love in the lexicon, you’ll find a big freekin’ “?”. What is love? You ask me? For me, love is music, love is her. But really, I really don’t know, and I really don’t care. All I know is that if it’s a decease, don’t cure me.

The best of me

I’m (only) 18 y/o… But still, I feel old inside. In fact, I think I’m having my midlife crisis. Maybe it’s a sign? Maybe I won’t get older then 36 y/o… I’m currently out of work, I’ve got no education that will qualify me for a descent job, and I’m constantly thinking over what I’ve achieved in life.

1. This one time I bought the biggest water-gun in my hood… For only 80$, I was the happiest kid on the streets. This was my stupidest achievement
2. I applied for GK Mekaniske fag at Etterstad high school and got in. There I met the most interesting people I’ve ever met. And I was never happier. This was my friends achievement
3. I gave this girl a necklace for Christmas as a secret admirer in 8^th grade, but I wussed out and never told no-one. This was really my first experience in love. I kinda always knew that she knew, but I was young and naïve…
4. I have helped 5 women with their baby carriage out of the bus, and I once paid 10kr, about 1.5$ for a kid that ran out of money and wanted ice cream. This is my good deeds.
5. I’ve stayed free for religion… I have never been Christian, Buddhist, hindu or anything… This is my freedom achievement…
6. I’ve been staying healthy, don’t smoke and is getting kinda like… flexing in front of the mirror. This is my health achievement.

All along, I think I can lay down and RIP. But still… there are so many things I would have like to have done. I would like to get a fat ass car and house. I would like to finally meet a girl that wont crush my heart. Have 2-3 kids and a bunch of grandkids…
I just think that I’m not even half way there. I’m sitting here hating myself, when I’ve really got my whole life and the whole world in front of me…

Cheers guys. Live your lifes for me.