Depressive Love
I’ve got a problem…
I like girls…
No, I’m not gay… But it’s a grammar problem.
I like girls, not girl.
All my life, I’ve had a crush on one girl, and one girl only… But lately, I just haven’t!
I love women, there’s nothing I wouldn’t sacrifice for their scent, their smile, their eyes… But I think it’s something wrong when there’s a bigger focus on girls, rather then girl. If my focus is on one girl, I’ve got no interest in girls, other then that girl.
But I just haven’t.
Recently I’ve been wondering if I’m emotionally dead. I don’t think so, but sometimes, it just feels like it.
It’s not like I’ve don’t have any chance with women… Or at least, I don’t think so. But it like as if I’m unconsciously refusing them. I often know when they flirt with me, but in most cases, I say: “Thank you, good bye”.
Take this for an example. I went to the drug store to buy some stuff, the drug store was totally empty, with three employees inside. Once I enter the store and approach the counter, there was this quiet conversation between two of them, going:
-“psst, psst…”
-“what? You’ll take this customer? Ok!”
-“Shhh!”
This really cute Chinese girl behind the counter helped me out, and we spoke for a while about the logic with me spending 150kr at the doctor to get the prescription to buy some prescription-free drugs for 50kr, while it would cost 180kr to buy it without the prescription… We both laughed while she dealt with the paper-works. There and then, I knew I had a perfect chance to ask her out, or ask her for her phone number… But I just paid up, smiled, and left.
I really don’t know why, but I guess some parts of me knew that she would say no, or she already had a boyfriend or something. Or maybe it’s because I’ve been trying to hard before, and gotten no-where? Either way, not being in love is crushing me. I feel emotionally dead, but at the same time, my life is better then ever.
I’ve got great friends. I don’t get to see them as much as I would like to, but they’re still great. My job is wonderful! My co-workers are great, and fun to work with. I’m au-par with the bills, and money-wise, my car is running great, with no problems, other then the problems it gets me into…
So why this depressive feeling?
How can love be so powerful?
I like girls…
No, I’m not gay… But it’s a grammar problem.
I like girls, not girl.
All my life, I’ve had a crush on one girl, and one girl only… But lately, I just haven’t!
I love women, there’s nothing I wouldn’t sacrifice for their scent, their smile, their eyes… But I think it’s something wrong when there’s a bigger focus on girls, rather then girl. If my focus is on one girl, I’ve got no interest in girls, other then that girl.
But I just haven’t.
Recently I’ve been wondering if I’m emotionally dead. I don’t think so, but sometimes, it just feels like it.
It’s not like I’ve don’t have any chance with women… Or at least, I don’t think so. But it like as if I’m unconsciously refusing them. I often know when they flirt with me, but in most cases, I say: “Thank you, good bye”.
Take this for an example. I went to the drug store to buy some stuff, the drug store was totally empty, with three employees inside. Once I enter the store and approach the counter, there was this quiet conversation between two of them, going:
-“psst, psst…”
-“what? You’ll take this customer? Ok!”
-“Shhh!”
This really cute Chinese girl behind the counter helped me out, and we spoke for a while about the logic with me spending 150kr at the doctor to get the prescription to buy some prescription-free drugs for 50kr, while it would cost 180kr to buy it without the prescription… We both laughed while she dealt with the paper-works. There and then, I knew I had a perfect chance to ask her out, or ask her for her phone number… But I just paid up, smiled, and left.
I really don’t know why, but I guess some parts of me knew that she would say no, or she already had a boyfriend or something. Or maybe it’s because I’ve been trying to hard before, and gotten no-where? Either way, not being in love is crushing me. I feel emotionally dead, but at the same time, my life is better then ever.
I’ve got great friends. I don’t get to see them as much as I would like to, but they’re still great. My job is wonderful! My co-workers are great, and fun to work with. I’m au-par with the bills, and money-wise, my car is running great, with no problems, other then the problems it gets me into…
So why this depressive feeling?
How can love be so powerful?
posted by Stu... at 9:47 PM
1 Comments:
Hmmmm...
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