The Truth of My Lies
A part of being a good brother, son, friend, a person, is to realise that by protecting yourself with a lie, you’re simply hurting another person…
I’ve hurt a lot of people, both intentionally and unintentionally. I’ve always believed that by protecting me, I’ve been protecting them too. Not realising that most of them deserved to hear the truth, and if they cared as much for me as I cared for them, they wouldn’t think less of me.
My biggest regrets of telling people, or not telling is:
• I’ve never told anyone about what my parents do for a living. Many got the false impression that they own a restaurant. The truth is, they did. They worked in the restaurant business my whole childhood, as long as I can remember, my mom and dad have been running restaurants and coffee shops. This ceased all suddenly when my dad got two major strokes, due to an ulcer, and had to go under the knife. I remembered the doctors telling me, my brother, my sister, and my mom that it would be a quick surgery. The surgery lasted for several hours. When he was finished, my dad was still sleeping. The doctors encountered some difficulties. But luckily, he was fine. But my dad didn’t wake up. Everyday we went to the hospital to visit him, talking to him in his sleep in hope that he was listening. It took three months before he finally woke up, I remembered my dad as a very strong man, at that time, I was 15 and I could still hang from his one arm. But that time he woke up, he could barely speak one word. I was happy that my dad woke up, but what he didn’t know, was that in the three months he was gone, the bills had been piled up in my mothers lap. With 4months bill, and the shop being closed for all the time, she was forced to close down.
I’m still not telling what they do for a living, you can ask me if you want, but I won’t tell here. All I can say, is that both my mom and dad’s happier than ever, and that’s what matters.
• My very first crush. I was probably 8 or 9, and we lived in Kirkenær, a place near Kongsvinger. There was only one 2. grade class, and everybody was friends. After school we played in a little tree hut behind the school. I remember one time, we played truth or dare. I got the all famous, “who do you have a crush on?” question. I knew the answer right there and then. Linn Jeanette, but I chickened out, I wouldn’t tell. In third grade, we moved to Oslo, and I stayed in touch with the people in my old class. One time, I got this bunch of letters from my old class mates, the letter I remember most, is the one from Linn Jeanette. Saying thing wasn’t so fun there without me around, and that the whole class missed me. I remember the ending of the letter the best. “You know… I had a crush on you.”
I know I was just 8-9 years old, but still, it’s one of the biggest mistakes up to date. Knowing the girl I was in love with, share the feelings I had, was… Joy… Happiness… I can’t really describe it, but at the same time, can anyone describe love? But I couldn’t help feeling pain at the same time. The fact of knowing that she was 150km away. Knowing I’d never going to see her again.
• Destroying a friendship for a girl… The wrong girl. I know that person involved reads my blog, But I don’t think she know the circumstances and how sorry I really feel. I’ve apologised a lot of times, being the great person she is, she’s forgiven me for it, but I don’t think I’ll ever get over it. The story begins in one of my known winter depressions. Lonely as I was, I searched for comfort in a person that would soon be the person who twisted my world…
Everything I did then was my fault. I wanted to everything for this girl, but she just wanted me to crawl for her. When I finally realised what kind of person I’d become, we ended it. This might sound strange, but the time we decided that we couldn’t pursue the “relationship” we had, is one of the times, I can remember of being totally happy and free. I knew she was the wrong girl for me, the fact that I was smiling and in absolute joy, just made the whole “brake up” wonderful. But I knew I screwed up the friendship with that person. I made a personal pact then. My friends would always be there for me, I at least owe them the same. No person will ever come between me and my friends. And again: “I’m really sorry!”
• This blog is getting pretty long, so I’ll finish with this last one; I’ve had two major accidents with cars, where I’ve been behind the wheel. I’ve told people 10 different versions, and I just want to finally tell the truth.
The first is with the family car. There are versions of me sliding into a ditch or someone crashed into me and left. The truth is that I recently chip-tuned the car. Turning 110hp/260nm into 145hp/335nm. I was driving in very high speed on the freeway, on minus 20degree ice roads. I reached about 140kmh when I decided to try to overtake a car on the right lane. This spun the car into major over steer, on the one side, it was a big fence and the other side, it was snow. I thank the car-gods everyday that I went into the snow, who knows what would happen if I’d hit the fence… The most amazing was that I crashed in 140kmh, and only broke a grill.
The other time, is with my own car. Here I’ve been telling stories of me racing a skyline, crappy roads and destroying the front bumper while taking the bumper off for intercooler swap.
The truth of why my car is currently bumperless and got a big intercooler in front is because of me being a freakin’ idiot. It was very wet, but was not raining at all. I’d just been at a Nissan gathering with all the 200sx and their ultimate drifting machines. On the way home, I decided to drift some with my car… the 200’s had about 220bhp in their cars, I had 320bhp… It had to be better to drift with mine, I thought… Well, it did! Until the wet asphalt proved why you should take it easy in the wet. I was drifting up hills, when I made the ultimate rookie mistake of panicking in a drift and releasing the throttle when you shouldn’t. The car spun out of control, and I went straight into the ditch. Wrecking the bumper and one intercooler. Looking back at it, I was really lucky. A few meters further up, there were no ditch, it was mountain. The car could have been wrecked.
I don’t plan to achieve anything by writing this, but I hope people try to put themselves in my situations and understand why I deceived them sometimes, some of the incidences was embarrassing, others was just me, screwing up.
I’ve hurt a lot of people, both intentionally and unintentionally. I’ve always believed that by protecting me, I’ve been protecting them too. Not realising that most of them deserved to hear the truth, and if they cared as much for me as I cared for them, they wouldn’t think less of me.
My biggest regrets of telling people, or not telling is:
• I’ve never told anyone about what my parents do for a living. Many got the false impression that they own a restaurant. The truth is, they did. They worked in the restaurant business my whole childhood, as long as I can remember, my mom and dad have been running restaurants and coffee shops. This ceased all suddenly when my dad got two major strokes, due to an ulcer, and had to go under the knife. I remembered the doctors telling me, my brother, my sister, and my mom that it would be a quick surgery. The surgery lasted for several hours. When he was finished, my dad was still sleeping. The doctors encountered some difficulties. But luckily, he was fine. But my dad didn’t wake up. Everyday we went to the hospital to visit him, talking to him in his sleep in hope that he was listening. It took three months before he finally woke up, I remembered my dad as a very strong man, at that time, I was 15 and I could still hang from his one arm. But that time he woke up, he could barely speak one word. I was happy that my dad woke up, but what he didn’t know, was that in the three months he was gone, the bills had been piled up in my mothers lap. With 4months bill, and the shop being closed for all the time, she was forced to close down.
I’m still not telling what they do for a living, you can ask me if you want, but I won’t tell here. All I can say, is that both my mom and dad’s happier than ever, and that’s what matters.
• My very first crush. I was probably 8 or 9, and we lived in Kirkenær, a place near Kongsvinger. There was only one 2. grade class, and everybody was friends. After school we played in a little tree hut behind the school. I remember one time, we played truth or dare. I got the all famous, “who do you have a crush on?” question. I knew the answer right there and then. Linn Jeanette, but I chickened out, I wouldn’t tell. In third grade, we moved to Oslo, and I stayed in touch with the people in my old class. One time, I got this bunch of letters from my old class mates, the letter I remember most, is the one from Linn Jeanette. Saying thing wasn’t so fun there without me around, and that the whole class missed me. I remember the ending of the letter the best. “You know… I had a crush on you.”
I know I was just 8-9 years old, but still, it’s one of the biggest mistakes up to date. Knowing the girl I was in love with, share the feelings I had, was… Joy… Happiness… I can’t really describe it, but at the same time, can anyone describe love? But I couldn’t help feeling pain at the same time. The fact of knowing that she was 150km away. Knowing I’d never going to see her again.
• Destroying a friendship for a girl… The wrong girl. I know that person involved reads my blog, But I don’t think she know the circumstances and how sorry I really feel. I’ve apologised a lot of times, being the great person she is, she’s forgiven me for it, but I don’t think I’ll ever get over it. The story begins in one of my known winter depressions. Lonely as I was, I searched for comfort in a person that would soon be the person who twisted my world…
Everything I did then was my fault. I wanted to everything for this girl, but she just wanted me to crawl for her. When I finally realised what kind of person I’d become, we ended it. This might sound strange, but the time we decided that we couldn’t pursue the “relationship” we had, is one of the times, I can remember of being totally happy and free. I knew she was the wrong girl for me, the fact that I was smiling and in absolute joy, just made the whole “brake up” wonderful. But I knew I screwed up the friendship with that person. I made a personal pact then. My friends would always be there for me, I at least owe them the same. No person will ever come between me and my friends. And again: “I’m really sorry!”
• This blog is getting pretty long, so I’ll finish with this last one; I’ve had two major accidents with cars, where I’ve been behind the wheel. I’ve told people 10 different versions, and I just want to finally tell the truth.
The first is with the family car. There are versions of me sliding into a ditch or someone crashed into me and left. The truth is that I recently chip-tuned the car. Turning 110hp/260nm into 145hp/335nm. I was driving in very high speed on the freeway, on minus 20degree ice roads. I reached about 140kmh when I decided to try to overtake a car on the right lane. This spun the car into major over steer, on the one side, it was a big fence and the other side, it was snow. I thank the car-gods everyday that I went into the snow, who knows what would happen if I’d hit the fence… The most amazing was that I crashed in 140kmh, and only broke a grill.
The other time, is with my own car. Here I’ve been telling stories of me racing a skyline, crappy roads and destroying the front bumper while taking the bumper off for intercooler swap.
The truth of why my car is currently bumperless and got a big intercooler in front is because of me being a freakin’ idiot. It was very wet, but was not raining at all. I’d just been at a Nissan gathering with all the 200sx and their ultimate drifting machines. On the way home, I decided to drift some with my car… the 200’s had about 220bhp in their cars, I had 320bhp… It had to be better to drift with mine, I thought… Well, it did! Until the wet asphalt proved why you should take it easy in the wet. I was drifting up hills, when I made the ultimate rookie mistake of panicking in a drift and releasing the throttle when you shouldn’t. The car spun out of control, and I went straight into the ditch. Wrecking the bumper and one intercooler. Looking back at it, I was really lucky. A few meters further up, there were no ditch, it was mountain. The car could have been wrecked.
I don’t plan to achieve anything by writing this, but I hope people try to put themselves in my situations and understand why I deceived them sometimes, some of the incidences was embarrassing, others was just me, screwing up.
posted by Stu... at 5:23 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home